Real Detroit, April 2000
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Members Of The Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) Must Always Be Ready For Danger
Vocalist Dick Valentine apologizes for the band's tardy arrival. "We were in a training session. To beef up security, we've been training a trio of killer dogs. Their names are 'Cocked,' 'Locked,' and 'Ready To Rock,' respectively. We have trained these dogs to locate and then tear out the throats of any rival band members in the area, to carry secret communiqués to and from management and to drink domestic beer out of bottles." He orders a Coors for everyone and we start the interview.
I ask the band about the story of them being frozen for posterity, which was given as the reason for the break up last summer. "We were just saying that," says guitarest Surge Joebot, reaching for an ashtray. "It never really happened." The Rock N Roll Indian (guitar) explains: "Well, actually, Disco did get frozen. He didn't quite make it, so we sold him to another band. Not surviving the unthawing process, spontaneous karate combat, having one's septum removed - these are the dangers members of the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) have to live with every day."
This being as it is, fans at the next show will notice someone new on the stage playing bass - Frank Lloyd Bonnaventure. The band is confident about this new addition. "When Frank Lloyd Bonnaventure joined the band," says drummer M. Cougar, "He rocked as soft as pre-Viagra Woodrow Wilson. Thanks to Detroit rock spunk, now he's rocking like a hurricane."
Members Of The Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) Must Always Be Ready For Hallucinations
The band starts relating a story of them rocking a show so hard in Cincinnati that when they finally got back home to Detroit, Joebot woke up to a horde of inch-tall albino kangaroos swarming his bedroom. As it turns out, the band members are no strangers to brushes with the scientific: Dick Valentine habitually signs up for the sleep deprivation experiments he finds advertised on telephone poles; new bassist Frank Lloyd Bonnaventure was raised by one of Harry Harlowe's wire-monkeys.
Perhaps to counter these rockingly psychotic episodes, an "original/ new" member was recently added to the lineup. Blacklips Hoffman, who fans may remember as contributing the keyboard hook on the "MC Sucka DJ" single which propelled them to the Grammies, is a keyboard player who also goes to medical school. However, to downplay this potential connection to "The Man," the band is quick to point out that he belongs to the "anti-establishment sect of medicine."
"He always comes to practice with blood on his scrubs," adds M. Cougar. When asked if that entails back-alley liposuctions, the band is quick to bleat out a "No comment."
"I bleed the government," says Blacklips ominously, lighting his cigarette.
Members Of The Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) Must Always Seem 100 Percent Confident
"The advantage of being in the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch), as opposed to any other band," says the Rock N Roll Indian, "is that we never feel the need to emulate a southern rock band; we never feel the need to 'jam' onstage. We also exercise remarkable self-restraint when it comes to harmonicas."
Another advantage of being in the band was when they were asked to open for the Knack reunion at St. Andrew's Hall-the soiree was attended by none other than governor-wannabe Geoffrey Feiger and Dr. Death himself, Jack Kevorkian. During the set, Joebot decided that the time was right to make a political statement. He took the mic and announced:
"As a member of a rock band, which is what we are, I can only endorse the systematic assassination of all elected officials. However, were that not the case, I'm sure that the candidate we'd endorse would be Geoffrey Feiger."
One song later, in a move that could only flatter the guest of honor, management pulled the plug on the band. The Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) were forced to leave the stage, but not before they had a chance to spit all over the Knack's equipment and noodle around on their drumset.
"The members of the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch), alone or as a group, never show fear when it comes to hassling failed gubernatorial candidates or washed-up one-hit wonders," explains Blacklips. "Our confidence level is way too high for that."
The band's confidence also carries it to the big screen. Brushes with Hollywood include: Dick Valentine's well-known meeting with and public humiliation of, Corey Feldmen in L.A.; Joebot and M Cougar's roles in the upcoming local film The Garden Of Eve ("My God," complains Joebot, "It felt as if I had to memorize a phonebook") and the band running into Jay from Mallrats outside a comic book shop after a show in Pittsburgh.
"He was standing outside the store, wearing headphones and bobbing his head up and down with the music. He asked if we wanted to hang out," reports The Rock N Roll Indian.
Members Of The Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) Must Always Be Ready To Bully The Press
"Don't print that about Jay," commands The Rock N Roll Indian. "There will be no mention of celebrities other than ourselves in this interview." When gently reminded of the First Amendment, he retaliates with a karate spaz-chop so hard it actually detaches one of my retinas.
When I regain consciousness and proper stereoscopic vision, M. Cougar demands that I ask him a question.
"All right," I acquiesce, staggering back up to sit at the table. "What fans really want to know is: Have you ever gotten incredibly sloppy drunk at a bar and started insulting the guy on the stool next to you, who gets up and punches the living shit out of you, and then as you start stumbling towards the exit with tears starting down your face, point at the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) CD in the jukebox and yell, 'That's me, you assholes! ME! In the jukebox! And what have you ever done with your shitty little lives!?"
M. Cougar looks at me coldly from behind his sunglasses as he takes a long drag of his menthol and then: "I don't know what you're talking about."
Members Of The Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) Must Be Programmed To Apologize.
Dick Valentine sums up the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch)'s present condition: "Before, the band had an Edward Norton feel to it. Nowadays the band is more Burt Reynolds." I ask him to clarify as to whether he means the deluded-but-gentle-hearted-friend-of-pederasts Boogie Nights Burt Reynolds, or the in-trouble-with-the-mob-and-trying-to-bed-Candice-BergenStick Burt Reynolds.
"Let me tell you a story," he says, completely sidestepping my question. He relates to me the time when the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) were scheduled to play a gig in Toronto. He and former keyboardist Dr. Diet Mt. Dew were the only band members to actually make it past Canadian border guards and to the venue. Once the two bandmates realized that there wasn't going to be any back-up, they asked a couple of local girls to dance behind them, threw the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) CD into the player and then proceeded to lip-sync the entire album to the audience, doing their best Robert Palmer-esque impersonation on stage.
Using intricate hand gestures, charts and at one point jumping off a chair to elaborate his point, Dick Valentine takes 30 minutes to tell this story. At the end he says: "As a representative of the rock 'n' roll community of the United States of America, I would like to apologize to the patrons of that bar. Because of a governmental crack-down, they were cheated out of bearing proper witness to the tsunami rock nature that is the Electric Six (formerly The Wildbunch) and that thought still tortures my conscience."
Talk turns to the future and it turns out that these are heady times for the band. Besides the April 29 show at the Magic Bag, there is also an upcoming interview with WDET's Ralph Valdez (who has reportedly hired bodyguards in preparation for the experience). Beyond that, fans can expect songs like "Dance Commander," "Jimmy Carter," and "She's Guatemalan" to make its way to single status forthwith.
Joebot explains, "We want to be taken seriously. It seemed like everyone thought we were joking before. If we're not taken seriously, folks can expect serious repercussions. This is not a joke," he continues. A slight pause, and then: "Anymore."
-By Ben Lefebvre