Murder on the Dancefloor - Bang, November 2003

Interview with Bizarre - Bizarre, February 2003

Keep It Surreal - Daily Telegraph, 23rd August 2003

Our Friends Electric - Guardian, 29th January 2003

Shock To The System - Kerrang!!, 25th January 2003

Ire In The Disco - NME, 24th May 2003

Hold Tight! - Q, April 2003

Chancers in the nicest possible way - Scotland on Sunday, 26th January 2003

interview with Time Out - Time Out, 8th January 2003

Rock the Gaybah - X-Ray, May 2003

Murder On The Dancefloor! - Bang, November 2003

Electric Six hit the arcades to determine which member is the greatest dancer 

In honour of the new Electric Six single’s genius Nirvana-goes-disco groove, BANG decided to determine which of the Detroit dangermen can cut the meanest rug, with the help of a ‘Dancing Stage Euro Mix’ machine.  Pockets bulging with 10 pence pieces, we bundled the band into a flash London amusement arcade.  Although initial signs suggested that there wouldn’t be much fire in this particular disco.

“I can’t do the Mashed Potato, but I can do the Roger Rabbit,” claims keyboardist Tait Nucleus?, hopping unconvincingly from foot to foot by way of demonstration, much to his bandmates’ amusement, and it begins to dawn on us that the title of ‘Dance Commander’ might well be ironic.  “I got punched at school once and flew backwards,” adds drummer M.  “That looked pretty sweet.”

Nucleus? eyes the machine on which battle will soon commence with a mixture of familiarity and contempt.  “I played this in Stoke-on-Trent but I had to get off,” he reveals.  “I was too scared! I tried it once on acid but couldn’t work it because monkeys kept flying out of the screen.”

He’s joking.  We think.  Still the keyboardist is up first against M, and proves to be something of a natural – almost suspiciously so.  Prancing on the footpads like a ballerina, Nucleus? racks up a raft of points on ‘Kung Fu Fighting’ without once messing up his impeccable hairstyle.  M, on the other hand, exhibits all the grace of a wounded rhino, and is knocked out early doors.

“I blame my poor performance here today entirely on my Cuban heels,” the drummer claims, not unreasonably.  “If I’d have been wearing Adidas Gazelles, I would have done much better.”  Guitarist Johnny Na$hinal and bassist John R Dequindre make equally early exits, clumsily clod-hopping their way through Shaft’s ‘(Mucho Mambo) Sway’ and Cameo’s ‘Word Up’ respectively.  The Colonel’s complete no show (an old war injury was apparently giving him gyp) means that the final showdown will be between early pacesetter Nucleus? and frontman Dick Valentine.

Despite being the clear favourite, Nucleus?’s natural ability is no match for his opponent’s aesthetically pleasing approach that involves jumping on all of the footpads as maniacally as possible.  The victorious Valentine is nothing if not magnanimous, though.

“It should be mandatory for every human being to do half an hour on this machine daily – the world would be a better place,” he says, before going on to impart a little competitive philosophy.  “To really command the dance takes years of training.  I feel like I could go head to head with Justin Timberlake now.  In fact, getting to meet Timberlake is the only reason I’m in this band.”

And with that, the newly lauded Lord Of The Dance sashays off into the London night.